Watching VH1

All new shows this week on CelebReality! I have the recaps of Rock of Love, Hogan Knows Best, and Scott Baio is 45…and Single for you after the jump. The shows will also rerun throughout the week if you missed them. Enjoy the recaps!

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Rock of Love–

Previously, Jes took Lacey out in the football game and Sam waffled again on whether or not she wanted to be there. Heather and Lacey team up to get rid of Erin and think they are in charge.

We start off with all the girls sleeping, and Big John comes into the room and wakes them up. Brandi says she wants to hit him in the balls. Bret says it’s time for them to step it up and he doesn’t know Mia or Magdalena yet, but he’s connected with the others. They read their note from Bret and try to determine what “road skills” means. It’s apparently Bret’s birthday and they wish him happy birthday when they roll up to his tour bus. The challenge consists of things that happen on the road and the winner will get a date with Bret. Big John rounds them up and puts them on a bus.

The parking lot is set up as different “cities” and there are challenges at each “city”. A girl’s name is chosen randomly and then she picks her opponent for the challenge. Jes is chosen first in “New York”, and she chooses Magdalena because she doesn’t think she’s very athletic. They have to pack up a suitcase and run it to the bus. Magdalena wins when Jes’s sweater gets stuck in the zipper, so she is left behind.

The next challenge in “Philadelphia”, Magdalena gets chosen this time and she chooses Sam to compete against. They have to change clothes in a port-o-potty. The outfit is some sort of funky lingerie. The potties are messy and disgusting. Sam says it’s like dirty diapers. Sam wins because Magdalena’s shoes weren’t tied behind her ankles as instructed. Sam gets back on the bus and Magdalena sits on the bench.

In “Detroit” Lacey is chosen and she picks Sam again. They have to jump in a dumpster and find a guitar pick. Lacey just dives in and Sam thinks she’s going to throw up. Lacey is mad because she wore her favorite boots. They “ew” a lot as they dig for the pick. Sam wins and Big John tells her she smells.

In “Nashville” Heather is chosen and she picks the weaker Mia. They have to set up Bret’s guitar and make noise with it. Brandi admits she lied about being good with electronics so she wouldn’t get chosen. Heather is confused why she can’t make sound and the camera man shows us because she hasn’t plugged in the power cord. Big John reminds them to plug in the amps. Mia figures it out first and gets back on the bus. Heather is left behind.

Up next is “Seattle” and Brandi and Mia go head to head. Big John tells them that Bret gets drunk sometimes and can’t remember his lyrics so they have to unscramble the chorus to Every Rose Has its Thorn. Mia is incorrect with her first try, but Brandi is successful and gets back on the bus.

It’s down to Brandi and Sam at “Los Angeles”. Big John tells them they have to hurdle some velvet ropes and push through security to get to Bret. Sam is still wearing her hoochie gear from the port-a-potty challenge. Brandi is confident she’ll win. They hurdle the ropes (in slow motion with some Chariots of Fire type music). They hit the “security” guards which are tackling dummies with Big John’s face on them and have trouble moving them. Eventually Brandi wins and hops on the bus which then takes her to see Bret who is waiting on the other side of the parking lot. They get back on the bus together and Bret says he’s happy it was Brandi who won because he needs to get to know her better and has a great time planned for tomorrow night.

Back at the house, Lacey is complaining she doesn’t get one on one time because she can’t win challenges. Lacey and Heather plot to get Sam out of the house by making her super jealous. Bret and Brandi come in the house as Heather says Brandi didn’t earn the win. Bret goes to the studio and says he’ll be back later to party for his birthday. The girls start decorating and sucking in helium, which makes Magdalena actually sound like a woman.

Bret arrives and blows out his candles. He kisses everyone in style. Bret turns on some of his own music for the party and they all start dancing and drinking. Magdalena goes out back and sits by herself. The girls get on the pole and even Sam heads up there. This excites Bret that she has a hidden sexual creature. Lacey notices that Sam has gotten Bret’s attention, so she starts putting her plan into action to make Sam jealous.

Heather wants to make Sam extremely jealous by grinding up on Bret. This makes Sam mad and she walks off. Bret finally notices that she’s gone. Sam goes to her room and decides she wants to leave because she can’t handle him being with all of the girls and the trust issues she has.

The next morning, Sam flips out when Lacey tries to talk to her. Lacey relays the situation to Heather who thinks it’s cool. Lacey goes to Bret’s room and pounds on the door. Magdalena and Sam are talking about the “hyenas” who are always trying to see Bret. Lacey tells Bret she’s worried about Sam and tells him he needs to have someone who understands the lifestyle. He agrees that she’s too sensitive and goes to find Sam.

Lacey goes and tells Heather how it went. They decide after Sam, they’re going after Magdalena. They celebrate their puppet mastery. When Bret finds Sam, she’s folding and packing. She says she just needs time alone. He tells her that he’s the only one she needs to be close to and she says she can’t when there are other girls in the way. She tells him a story about her mistrust issues. Bret says he may have to let her go for her own sanity.

Big John brings a note for Brandi and it tells her she gets to go to a Ducks hockey game and she’s excited for beer and men with sticks. They have dinner in the VIP suite, first. Bret tells her she’s got beautiful eyes, and she says she needs a confident man. Bret tells her he’s afraid she’d be a lesbian and she says she won’t marry a woman, but she’ll have sex with one and then kick her out. Bret has no answer for that.

The girls back at the house find a note that tells them to write up a list about why everyone else should be eliminated. Lacey immediately starts to say evil things about all of them. The only things they can come up with about Jes is her age and location. Magdalena says that Lacey looks like a man possessed by the devil. However, Lacey gets really defensive when they start saying she’s insincere and whines about how it’s unfair. The rest of them don’t care and slip the note under Bret’s door. Lacey says she doesn’t care what they say because they can’t beat her.

At the hockey game, Brandi is so excited to get the VIP treatment. Bret says Brandi could change his tire and then he’d want to have sex with her and that’s win-win. They show them on the jumbo screen and Bret says it rates up there with some of the best dates he’s ever had.

When they get back to the house, Brandi tells them about the date and Bret goes off to shower and get ready for elimination. The girls fill Brandi in on what they had to do and she goes off to ask Lacey about it. Lacey lies to her face and says the others said she was a groupie. Brandi knows she’s lying and goes back to tell Jes and Mia about the lying. Brandi says she’s sick of the drama.

Bret comes out and pulls Magdalena aside to talk to her. Magdalena says she doesn’t hang all over him because she thinks emotion should be kept for the private times and not in public. Bret still feels she’s not connecting with him. Sam pulls him aside after he’s done with Magdalena. He thinks she’s a bit too sensitive. He really likes Sam and says it’s tough to see her break down.

The other girls get ready and talk about being nervous or being confident for eliminations. Bret reads the letter from the girls and finally wakes up to realize that it just might be Lacey causing all the drama in the house. He said he needs to rethink things before elimination.

The girls line up and Sam says she’s torn and this will be really tough. Lacey is sure it will be Sam going home because Bret doesn’t want someone like that in his life. Bret thanks them for making his birthday so special. He hands passes out to Brandi, Heather, Jes, Mia, Lacey, and then hems and haws for a bit as it comes down to Magdalena and Sam. She whispers that she’s going to pass out and cry. Bret calls down Magdalena and Sam says that’s her worst nightmare. He just says goodbye to Magdalena and he said the passion and excitement wasn’t there. Sam says she is crushed but excited because in the end, she wants to stay. Magdalena says she appreciates he cut her loose because she doesn’t want her time to be wasted. The “sexy six” go and toast. Lacey says Sam still has a target on her back.

Next week, the girls have a challenge to come up with a cover an album. The rest of the girls gang up on Lacey to try to get her out of the house by telling Bret about how she is behind his back.

Hogan Knows Best–

The family is sitting in the living room when Linda comes in and talks about how she’s trying to run again. She doesn’t want to be fat anymore and wants an exercise buddy. Hulk asks why she won’t train with him and she says that he takes too long and it’s too hard. He takes offense that Linda wants a “professional” instead of him to train her.

Hulk makes a phone call and gets Linda a trainer. He shows up and Linda lets him. He is very touchy feely as she tells him she’s got a beautiful smile. He tells her about himself and she says she wants to get in bathing suit shape. He wants to see her strength and endurance level. He has her do push ups on the table. She does 8 of them and then rolls up and down the wall on a ball. Hulk comes in and says hi to the trainer. The trainer gets snippy with him and Hulk is not impressed. Linda says she loves it.

The next day, Hulk watches from the living room playing guitar as the trainer works out Linda outside on the patio. She’s doing jumping jacks and Hulk and Nick are watching closely. The trainer touches Linda’s stomach and Hulk gets jealous and decides he will talk to Linda about the trainer. Linda comes in and Hulk asks her how the workout went. He tries to butt in and asks the trainer where he is from again. The trainer gets in Hulk’s face and tells him that he thought that wrestling is fake. This obviously sets Hulk off and he throws the trainer out of the house.

Linda calls Hulk a meathead. They argue about Hulk being jealous and how he shouldn’t have thrown the guy out. Hulk offers again to help her, but Linda decides to go to the gym with Brooke and take some classes to get back into it. They pass on the stripper class, and do a relaxation class first. The class has them act like they’re sleeping and they decide they like it. Their next class is working on their abs that is taught by a comedian and encourages laughing.

Meanwhile, Hulk is doing the weights and peeks in on the class, just shaking his head that they chose the class over him. They seem to have a great time, laughing. After they class, they head out to the weight area and talk about the angry cat and happy dog with Hulk. He doesn’t believe it was really working out.

Back at home, Linda gets on the scale and kicks it away after she reads the weight. She comes downstairs and Hulk tells her that the laughing class won’t work. Linda says she wants to be skinny like Nick and he says he’s young and that he’ll be fat one day, too. Linda reluctantly agrees to let Hulk work her out and he guarantees that she’ll lose 10 pounds.

The next day, Hulk wakes Linda up at 7 am to go workout and she wants to go in 2 hours. He tells her 15 minutes and they are leaving for the gym. Hulk wanders around the kitchen waiting and Linda wants to eat eggs before they leave. Hulk gives her something in a can instead and tells her to eat it in the car. They hit the weights first. Linda works on her chest and back. Hulk shows her how to work the backs of her arms. She complains it’s too heavy, but keeps going anyway. She finishes the weights with biceps.

The next morning, Linda can barely move her arms. She complains she can’t work out, but Hulk says they’ll work on lower body today and grabs some coffee. She tries to get a kiss from Nick, but he pinches her arms instead. Hulk sits by and eats while he watches Linda run on the treadmill and tells her she can lick the spoon when he’s done.

Two weeks later, Linda again gets on the scale. Downstairs, Nick is wiping his cheeto fingers on the carpet and Hulk is yelling at him about it. Linda comes down and tells them she has lost more than 10 pounds and is ready for her bathing suit. She admits that Hulk has the perfect method.

Next time, Brooke is dating an older man who is 30 and Hulk doesn’t like it, so he calls up Brooke’s old boyfriend to come visit.

Scott Baio is 45…and Single–

It’s now week 7 of his life coaching adventure. Scott is telling Doc Ali about his friends and the differences between them. A random girl in her underwear walks through the room and Johnny V follows her. Doc Ali says that Johnny V is like a Scott Baio parasite. She tells him it’s pathetic that he’s letting Johnny use his guest room to have sex and he agrees. She asks if he admires Steve and Scott says he tried to talk him out of getting engaged. He tells her a story about he and Steve dating twins, so she tells him to go visit those twins. She also wants to meet his friends.

Scott and Doc Ali head to the beach to meet the guys. Steve’s fiancée and kids are there and Scott goes to meet the kids as Doc Ali talks with Johnny V. Johnny says it’s wonderful Scott’s learning things about himself, but she’s pushing him too hard. Johnny tells Doc Ali not to end it for him. She tells him he’s got an agenda and he tells her not to stifle his time with Scott Baio.

Scott and Steve are talking by the water and how Steve is getting married in New York. Scott is amazed that Steve is going to get married and then Steve asks Scott to be his best man and Scott agrees. He is still amazed that Steve is going to take the plunge.

Since Scott is now the best man, he decides to put together a bachelor party and meet the twins as Doc Ali said to do all at once. They play pool together and Scott tells the girls about his life coach. They tell him to date a girl that hasn’t dated Hef. Scott decides to go and watch mud wrestling with the twins that night. All of the guys and a few others hop on the party bus to head to the mud wrestling. Johnny V decides he wants to see the twins naked. Scott tells him to grow up and give it up.

The twins tell the ref to have Steve wrestle in the next match. He doesn’t want to do it, so they make Johnny V do it instead. He dresses up in a speedo and a Mexican wrestler mask, then hops in the mud. The two women knock him down and they slide around a lot in the mud while the party laughs. The girls give him a wedgie and the ref blows the whistle. Scott tells him to get cleaned up so they can go. Johnny jumps out and hugs Scott with mud all over him. Scott was not happy with that and tells Johnny he went too far. Scott and the rest of the guys take off. Johnny wants to stay and tells Scott he’s blowing it at the party. Scott walks away.

The next time Doc Ali meets with Scott, he’s achy and not feeling well. He complains about his life being over. She says that old life is over and his body is telling him that. He agrees and he then tells her about fighting with Johnny V. Doc Ali tells him that Johnny V is toxic in Scott’s life. Scott says it was weird last night and they weren’t in sync anymore. She tells him to break up with Johnny and there is nothing scarier than Scott at 55 hanging with Johnny. Scott says he’ll need backup and Doc Ali agrees to do it for him.

Scott tells Johnny to meet him for lunch and Doc Ali is there, too. Johnny is surprised to see Doc Ali there. He says she has biceps like a man. She asks Johnny if he has a bed and he’s confused. Scott tells him that their relationship is holding him back. Johnny says he is a good friend and he can’t just wash his hands of that. Scott tells him that was a fun life, but he’s ready to be more mature. Johnny argues some more and Scott asks Doc Ali to intervene before he blows up. Doc Ali tells him that Scott is trying to be a better person and Johnny gets mad. Scott asks Doc Ali to leave and she does offering to help Johnny at a boot camp. Scott tells Johnny he can’t do that kind of life anymore. He needs to get away for a month or so while he figures things out. He leaves the restaurant with Johnny still talking to him.

Next time, the talk turns to marriage with Renee. There is talk of pre-nups and Doc Ali meets with Renee to talk about it all.