Watching VH1

Who doesn’t love watching slutty girls get beat up by big burly women on roller skates? This week’s Rock of Love certainly didn’t disappoint in this area. Also, Lacey returns to help with the beatings and lots of catfighting within the house. To read the entire recap, continue after the jump.

VH1, VH1 reality, VH1 reality shows, VH1 shows, Rock of Love, Rock of Love 2, Bret Michaels, Rock of Love recap

Last time, the girls put on a Peep Show for Bret and he decided Ambre was the best kisser ever. There’s an old school dance contest and the winners get special VIP passes. At elimination, the girls get mad at Sarah for saying she was there on a dare and Bret kicked her out.

This week, the girls start waking up and putting on makeup. Roxy decides it’s about personality at this point and she thinks people who are only pretty and have no personality will be going home next. Big John brings them to the living room and Megan reads a note about the girls being tough and sassy. She doesn’t want it to be athletic because she doesn’t have any athleticness.

The girls get to their challenge and see a roller derby rink. Jessica is scared because it will require coordination. Bret meets them and tells them he needs a woman with a mother bear instinct and unveils a baby doll dressed like him called Baby Bret. The girls have to safely roll baby Bret around the course three times to win. He then brings in some real roller derby girls to try and stop them, and the group includes no one other than Lacey. He tells them the baby will record trauma. After they finish three laps, the baby will be checked out by a “doctor” who will measure the amount of trauma on a big machine.

The girls get broken into teams and Kristy Joe says she used to be a speed skater and others haven’t been on skates in forever. The roller derby girls will give lessons on how to skate first and then will beat on them. Catherine is amazed she gets along with her team. The pink team goes first and consists of Catherine, Daisy, Destiney, and Megan. Daisy is pushing the stroller while the others block. Daisy falls and the stroller gets run over several times. Lacey gets in there and beats on the baby. The roller derby girls steal the stroller and shake the baby before they even finish one lap. Bret just can’t stop laughing. They eventually skid across the finish line and the baby is evaluated.

The red team has Peyton pushing the stroller and Jessica, Roxy, and blocks. Peyton gets pummeled several times, but always covers up the baby. Bret is impressed with everything she’s doing to save the baby. However, one of the derby girls rips off an arm and rolls around with it.

The blue team is Kristy Joe who skates well, Angelique, Inna, and Aubry who all can’t skate. However, they do a great job of blocking and keeping the derby girls away. One catches up right at the end and takes her out and the baby goes flying.

The doctor gives the results and the pink team’s baby is dead. The red team’s baby could survive, but would never have a normal life. Jessica thinks it wouldn’t matter if it was its left arm that got ripped off. The blue team has a baby that would need some therapy, but will be normal. They win and Bret gives Inna, Angelique, and Aubry a group date and Kristy Joe a solo date.

Roxy is mad they didn’t win, but she still has her VIP pass and will use it at some point to get some alone time. The group date girls and Bret take off for their date while everyone gathers in the kitchen. Daisy gets mad at Kristy Joe for implying it was Catherine’s fault the other team didn’t win because she couldn’t skate. At the group date, Bret takes the girls to a club that was closed down just for them. It is a burlesque club and Aubry is excited because she’s a trained dancer and can’t wait to get up there and show her stuff.

Later, Catherine comes into the kitchen and Kristy Joe tells her that her team thinks she dropped the ball with her mothering instincts. She goes off to find her team. Back at the date, they watch some professional dancers and one comes to their table to get them up on stage. Angelique says she just takes off all her clothes, and the dancer tells her it is about the art of the tease and it’s not a striptease. Inna gets up there first in her lingerie and crawls around a lot and Bret calls her a Ukranian Love Tank and says she’s sexy even if she sucks as a Burlesque dancer. Aubry is ready to go and gets up there and Bret is impressed and says he’s not surprised because his gut told him she’d be a good Burlesque dancer. Angelique goes up there and ends up taking off her clothes making Inna and Aubry hide their faces even though Bret claps. The professional dancer comes over to their table and tells Angelique she broke the rules and their is no nudity at their club. The winners all get ready to leave.

Back at the house, Catherine is trying to get to the bottom of the comments about her skating and goes to talk to her teammates. They assure Catherine it was Kristy Joe saying things. Destiney goes and gets in Kristy Joe’s face about manipulating people. Megan tells her to get some makeup on and stop scaring her.

Bret and the winners come home and decide to party. Aubry goes upstairs to change clothes and finds Kristy Joe crying in the bathroom over the comments Megan made about her looks. Aubry thinks that sucks and the girls are just trying to get in her head because she’s a threat.

The next morning, Destiney gets ready to use her VIP pass and Kristy Joe reads a note about her date. She starts getting things ready for their barbecue date and can’t wait to show Bret who she really is. Destiney and Daisy decide they are going to ruin Kristy Joe’s date by using their VIP passes during her one on one date. Roxy overhears them talking and decides not to stoop to that level. Bret and Kristy Joe eat on the patio and talk while the other girls get ready to use their passes. Meanwhile, Kristy Joe tells Bret she’s still legally married, but she filed her annulment papers so it was going to be cleared up soon.

Destiney takes that moment to interrupt with her VIP pass and Bret asks her if she’s sure she wants her time at that exact moment and she does, of course. Kristy Joe is upset as Bret tries to talk her out of it and she just won’t back down. Destiney asks Kristy Joe to leave and that turns Bret on. Kristy Joe leaves and Destiney hops right on top of Bret and they talk a bit as Kristy Joe sits inside. They make out for awhile until Kristy Joe comes back and tells her time’s up.

Bret starts up the conversation again with Kristy Joe as Daisy walks up to use her pass. Bret tells her no and now is not the time. She says that’s okay and walks away. Kristy Joe tells him that she’s frustrated in the house, and he tells her it’s just going to get tougher and wonders if she’s tough enough to survive his lifestyle. After the date, he goes to find Daisy and is happy she’s got her bikini on still. They go talk and he assures her he’s not mad. He tells Daisy he wants her to be genuine and then they make out as he stares at her boobs.

The girls all talk about elimination and Aubry thinks that Kristy Joe will be going home. She says she’s nervous because there was a lot of drama on their date. Angelique is confident because she got naked and feels a connection. Catherine hopes Kristy Joe will leave. Bret comes in and tells them he can see everyone’s true colors in the house. Destiney gets the first pass, Daisy, Inna, Aubry, Peyton, Catherine, Ambre, Megan, Jessica, and the last pass goes to Kristy Joe. The other girls are mad she gets to stick around. Roxy knows she should have used her VIP pass and that’s what Bret tells her as she leaves. Angelique is called down and he tells her she’s fun and exciting, but she’s too much of a free spirit. Kristy Joe still thinks she has things to prove and will always be defensive because of the house turning against her.

Next time, the girls have to build custom choppers. Kristy Joe cries again and confronts Bret about his feelings. Aubry also confronts Bret about ignoring her.