Watching VH1

Oh it’s ON! What a house full of FREAKS and no Flavor Flav in sight. I Love New York 2 premiered. Did you catch it? I sure did, and I have your recap after the jump.

VH1, VH1 shows, VH1 reality, VH1 reality shows, CelebReality, I Love New York, I Love New York 2, I Love New York 2 Premiere recap

The Flava Flav promo with the couples counselor that has been playing non-stop for weeks now starts out the premiere episode of I Love New York 2. When we finally get to the new footage, the guys are instantly charming talking about how much they love her big boobs and weave. There is a midget on the show, and the editors think it’s funny just to show the top of his head as he’s talking to the camera. New York comes out to greet them and is surprised to see the little person and starts laughing. One guy thinks she looks so good he could bite her ass. She informs the waiting guys that fans voted in 5 guys from the internet who have already moved in. This doesn’t sit well with the other guys because they think the internet guys have had an advantage already being in the house.

Sister Patterson rolls up in a limo and sizes up the guys. She screams in fear when she sees the little person. Mama also brought along some more men to add to the mix that have all kinds of money. Anthony the bouncer comes out to show the contestants to their rooms. The Mamas Boys have their stuff already set up for them including milk and cookies. Some of the guys break into the bar right away and start getting plastered. Midget Mac jumps on the counter and starts dancing.

Meanwhile, New York and Sister Patterson are in another room discussing how it is physically possible to have sex with Midget Mac. New York stands her ground and says she won’t get rid of him until he messes up. Sister Patterson threatens to kill her if she gets with Midget Mac and says this could be her last chance and she needs to be serious.

New York and Mama get the guys in a line to introduce themselves. Frank is the internet winner and he decides his name will be the Entertainer. New York gives him a chain right away and tells him he’ll be safe because the fans voted for him. Mama decides he’s a pervert and refuses to shake his hand. Mama and New York think Anthony is hot and he wants to be called Buddha and they agree to that name. Midget Mac comes up and New York treats him like a gentleman and Mama refuses to take him seriously. Another guy comes up and decides he’s twice the man so he will be called ManMan. The next guy is 20 Pack, then Doc, Sweetie Pie, and Yours. A geeky guy comes up and wants to be called Jackpot, but Mama decides he will be called Cheezy. Knock Out is a boxer, another guy wants to be called Total Package but they decide he will be ears instead. A shoeless guy comes in and wants to be called Wolf. Mr. Wise is a Whiteboy clone and Milliown says he’s cheesy, and another Mama’s Boy is named Pretty , New York names another guy Punk to see if he can take it. Mama melts when the next guy comes up and she names him Champion. Mama asks the next guy if he’s a cross dresser and she names him Unsure. They name a guy who mumbles It, and the last guy they name Tailor Made because Mama thinks he wears his suit well.

The ladies then join the contestants outside for a mixer. New York has to decide which five will be sent home that night. Wolf immediately tells her he’s well endowed. ManMan doesn’t like that much. New York sits with Ears and Doc and she looks incredibly bored as Ears rambles on and on. He finally asks her what she’s looking for right now and she just blinks and giggles as she tells him she wants respect and he launches into another ramble. Midget Mac walks into the room and New York hopes he has magical powers to save her from the boring guys. He takes her outside and she assures him she’s looking for love, not legs. He tells her she’s sexier than a 10 piece dinner and he is going to swoop in like a midget locksmith. Midget Mac also says he’s well endowed and no woman has been disappointed.

Mama is sitting over with her boys telling them to be her eyes and ears in the house. New York is then surrounded by several other guys who are trying to use some bad lines and she’s not biting. Mama singles out the Entertainer and pegs him as a sexual freak. He admits he is and he’s worried he’ll never earn her respect. New York has a conversation with Buddha but then It starts rubbing up on her and licking and kissing on her. New York decides he’s mental institution weird, but it’s kind of cute.

Milliown and Man Man are trying to win over Sister Patterson and then start arguing with each other about disrespect and interrupting. Mama blames the whole thing on Milliown and decides he has to go. New York yells at them to knock it off and Mama takes her inside away from those guys and doesn’t want her to stay in the same house with them. They decide they need a break and hide out inside until things cool down. New York tries to convince Mama to go back out so she can get to know them and figure out who to get rid of.

New York finds Champion and tells him he’s going to have to work to win her over because he’s her mom’s favorite. Tailor Made tries to slip Midget Mac $100 to go away so he can get time with New York. Punk isn’t liking that much, and neither is New York. She thinks he’s trying too hard. She brushes him off when his shoe touches her and he then insults her by talking about her breast augmentation.

Midget Mac tries to talk with Mama and she just laughs as he assures her he’s there to date her daughter. He wants her to tell him why she thinks he looks funny. Mama tries to explain why she’s afraid of him, but does apologize if she hurt his feelings. She insists New York will not date him and he tells the camera he’s there to date New York, not her mom so he doesn’t care what she says.

Sister Patterson and New York go to deliberate on who to get rid of. They agree on most of the guys but there are a few they butt heads on, including Midget Mac. Mama tends to like the “safe” guys, but New York thinks they are boring. She says she values her mom’s opinion, but it’s still her decision.

Midget Mac is unsure about where he stands, but Tailor Made thinks he’s the best one in the house and he’s safe. Milliown just knows It is leaving. New York comes in to eliminations and points out her first chain went to Entertainer because he was the internet winner. She gives her next chain to Pretty and then Buddha, Mr. Wise, Man Man—who Mama says is too fat. Wolf gets a chain because of his large anatomy and Mama wants him to prove it. Yours, 20 Pack, and Punk all have love for New York. She starts talking about how her Mama wasn’t sure about him, and Unsure starts to come up, but it isn’t for him—it’s for Cheezy who says he’s a threat to the other guys. Tailor Made, Knock Out, and finally Unsure gets his chain. Everyone is surprised when she calls down It and Mama is not impressed. Her last chain goes to Midget Mac because he made her laugh. Sister Patterson tries to have her put the chain on Champion, but she refuses and gives Midget Mac the chain. The loser guys all say how great they are as they leave, and Sister Patterson takes home Champion. The guys staying, all toast champagne with New York.

There are various clips from the rest of the season of kissing and fighting and Sister Patterson throwing her drink on people. Someone will be coming back later in the season, too.